人与人之间的一堵墙

其实每一个人都会在自己与外人之间筑一堵看不见墙，只是这堵墙是厚是薄而已。而我呢，我承认我是个非常难被人了解的人，却很想去了解人，了解身边的每一个人。打开我心锁的人，只有我。不然这是永远无法打开的锁。我也承认我自己无论做什么事都没有信心，我不能怪任何人，因为我是一个没有包袱的人，一个怕事，一个悲观的人。可当我在外人面前，这些都被我隐藏了起来，隐藏在那看不见的墙后了。有时觉得很可悲，没有一个知己，但说起来是我在自我封闭，我也不知道这是何时开始的，只是想让自己有多一点的安全感。我看了很多书，经历过很多事，这些事让我的思想很早熟。但我和同年龄的人相比，我觉得我自己非常的落后。我已经尝试着把自己拉到同等的水平，可是，我做不到。因为我太过容易听信别人的话，过于相信眼前的事务。重来没有看到之前和之后发生的事，所以每次犯了错，还是会有下一次的相同的错，其实我不是不想改，只是每次都到了犯错之后才知道自己又犯错了，已经来不及了。我很想很想过一个不一样的青春，过一个充实的读书生涯，我知道已经太迟了，时间过了就是过了，不会再回来了。我在学着珍惜眼前的事务，享受每一份艰辛的过程，接受每一个失败的教训，尽心地去做好每一件事。

A person who in love....

When a person who drop into the river of love, what you think he will do ??? what you expect he will do.... i wish i can see her happy everyday...... now all i can do is only give the best wishes scilencely... what else... you may be think i am fool.... you may be think i am idiot.... but that is my view of love..... i know i can do that well better dont suffer her.... at least she know what she want......she choose what she want....... i will respect what decision she did........ i will support her anyhow........ so dont ask me why and what.......i lazy to explain ...... love is blind ....... love is honey and bleeding another way...... hope all ppl find their true love as well...... haizz....................
ALL THE BEST

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The first day of exam!!!!

Hmmm, for me today is the first day of my exam....may be other ppl ald finish their final but poor me just started the first 1.... well i think i have done well in this stupid macroeconomic hahaha then my next subject is the itc 101 the other stupid subject need to study about..... hmm i also dont know want to study what also but i will try my best to study it hahaha anything i hope the detail tip will drop from the sky when i studying hahaha thats all for taday haha and good luck to my sister the first time alone in so far away in Genting inti hope she all fine haha ....

What a tiring day.....

Today is a tiring day haiz..... today LAN presentation sucks........untill 7:30pm!!!!! what the.......hmmm tomorrow still got exam deng no energy to study liao lo...... ha i think this become a secret place to let me scold all thing hahaha hope no ppl will find out.......... well today presentation i get 25 marks then i need 8 more marks to pass my LAN malaysian study then no more history for me le hahahaha so nice so i better pass this semester............. welll may be this blog can become my diary... may be dont know wether i can maake it or not... i hope i can hahaha:P anyhow we have done all this acessment le now the only final thing just start tomorrow....FINAL EXAM..... tomorrow i just started my first subject but some of my friend almost fnish thiers final le T.T
Haiz.... what else now Kambateh

hmmm how say!?

Well i think i still feel lucky that i still got a harmony family althought i had fight with my brother b4 once i think may be twice but i still love my familly i am happy i have 2 brother and 2 sister, i am the elder. Ha sound like very hard to comnicate with them but thank of them i have learn many thing i would never learn from book Thank you my mum and dad. Always forgive my mistake what ever how big is the mistake i make they still love me.... i wont blame my parent anything I WONT. My parent bigger than everything even though i have angry with them b4 but i know i was wrong....... so i really sorry to what i have done to you all i love you all. I was lusky to have a familly like this, my familly i wont let any1 to hurt any 1 of my familly member never ever think about it. Thank god giving me a good familly hahaha .............
Well all the best to my familly......

What ever, who ever

I always blame myslef why not handling this not well, why not handling that not well. All i know tell myself why dont do that will be better, but only after i did what i did. I always tell myself, i have to learn from this mistake from that mistake, but at last the same mistake come back again i dont know why... why why why everything beside me is not that smooth.... not even a single event, a single thing i cry sometime. Blaming come out when i was alone..... alone. What ever i meet i will come into a confuse first then after when i think back only i clear what am i doing. A very simple example i think most of you face it before.
"when the result come you will see, why... why get this marks only.... i should study more, i can score higher, i not i study earlier....... i WILL study earlier this time, i WILL start set a study plan to help me get a better score............."
This is what i think when i get my result ........ many time.... many many time, untill i cant count how many time i tell myslef this sentance. I hate myself alot you know my be no people understood me as well. NONE of it. Everytime i think of what i do before i find out that i make everything into a mess, i do alot of thing WRONG thing . Damn shit i hate myself alot really, i hate I HATE. No matter what i know how to say.... as people say that "talk is easy, but not doing" what ever, who ever, when i saw people do that i saw. i know that was not right, i just dont want they become the other me. My life full of regrad, see this ? when ppl tell me this, i can tell him that dont always regrad about the pass, just try your best to being good in future.... ha god damn it i seriously talk that. Is very easy to say that but me myself cant do as easy as i talk.
What ever dont know when i start lock myslef off. God tell me pls how to hadle all the relationship well no matter is friendship or what anything.
I have to thank you alot of people surrounding me not them i wont see so many thing, i wont know so many thing ..... thanks alot...............
(my english is worst i know myself. if can tell me where i am wrong i try my best to correct and improve my writting thank you )